& breathe out..

the biggest thing i have yet to of learned is to let go.
its the hardest thing, but most times, the right thing to do.

i never expected to be where i am now. i have said this a million times before, as i sit here and say it again. yet, for some reason, it never sinks in, not quite as much as i may have hoped for it to. i sit here, at a ripe age of 21, with 22 waiting around the corner in a mear few months. i feel as if i have lived a thousand lives, and im stuck in a timeless capsule, just waiting to be released & let loose. most people in my position, old and young, would chose to remain bitter, angry, and hurt by the things they find "unacceptable, harmful, hurtful, tramatizing, or heartbreaking".

for some reason i can not stand back and watch the world around me. in a month, i know i will be at odds end when a certain situation arises. how i may handle it, i am unsure. its one of those "should i stay or should i go" momments that i often catch myself in. unaware that unnessisary drama may arise, and unaware that this could either hurt me & only make me stronger in the long run.

knowing myself, im sure i will choose the hard road to follow, the one with every crack, crevice, & stain that will make me wonder whats really more important, getting home, or getting lost along the way. sometimes getting lost, is the only way to get home. through that, you find the bits and peices of yourself, and you slowly let go of the bad things and turn them into something positive. life really is what we make of it. as of lately, my life has been wonderful, aside from those bits and peices of me letting go after realizing certain things ive been holding onto, or particular things i never knew about myself.

i will always still be the little girl, getting lost along the way, living in a constant daydream of bliss and serinity, and few momments of uncertainty & unhappiness.